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4. The Dude & the Fear of Failure

Updated: Jan 16

The Dude gets tired of not slacking.  When she's too busy working to not have a job then she feels out of balance...

Sometimes she'll need a reminder.  A beer, some Crosby, Stills & Nash, or the holy sounds of falling pins at the bowling alley. 

Modern day go-getters would be confused by her state of inaction.  But the Dude knows that when feelings of tension arise it is because of resistance to how life is right now.  

Resisting Life

"I'm too busy!"


"I don't have enough time for you, right now."


You know what?


You won't ever have enough time, because that's your story. 

No one can change it but you. 

But this might also be resistance... resistance to being busy.


Even when active, the Dude doesn't lose her centre.  Shopping with the kids, she feels her state of inner mellowness.  Being pushed by too many client deadlines, she chooses to let some of them go, so she can have time to take it easy. 

Time to take it easy is vital to a Dude's wellbeing.

"Half an hour's meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed." - St Francis de Sales

Never Be in a Hurry

One of my guilty displeasures... having had a working life, and sometimes a partner life where I have always been rushing to meet someone else's deadlines and commitments.

St Francis de Sales must have been quite a chilled dude.  He also said,

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."


This is easier when you are not troubled by success or failure.  Or by trying to please someone else all of the time.

Whatever comes is to be met with indifference.  She knows the world is full of greed and need, but she is nourished be an inner peace.


The Dude avoids trying to force others to her particular view.  She knows that the modern intellect cannot appreciate an ageless wisdom.  She does not try to flatter or manipulate others to her own ends, which means that in work, she can be largely overlooked.

The Dude is honest and upright without a sense of knowing why or how, but just is.  Her strength comes from an inner trust, to have mastered herself by seeing through the false ego. 

Seeing Through the Ego, What?

It is this apparent ego that drives most of humanity.  Whenever our sense of an individual is threatened in some way, we feel the need to react, to reinforce who we believe we are, and this often leads to conflict, or resistance, or a temporary satisfaction when circumstances are met with our approval.

The Dude is different.  She has seen through the lie of anxiety.  She has looked through the face of the separate self and seen it for what it is, a sham.  As a result, the Dude values different things; life, simplicity, quiet, and just being. 

Simple Being

Content with simply being the Dude does not overreach, and not overreact.  Her toe does not slip over the line. And in this way, those who try to place goals and objectives on the Dude, and who attempt to benchmark her performance against a set of required standards do so in a way that is insensitive to the beauty and compassion of our natural being.

What goals and objectives does the wild deer have?

What performance anxiety does the common cat have?

What does the bird in the tree not have that forces it to do, rather than be?

Are we really any different?

Once, everything was given to us freely, nature did this, before there was any sense of ownership.  And since then we are either anxious to lose something, anxious to not gain something, happy with our lot, or not.  Whichever one, our state of wellbeing is tied to some outer situation.

In the next blog, we will look at the Dude and the sense of control.  Is there some kind of authority restraining us, and if there is, how does the Dude deal with that?

Thanks peeps. Remember to let go of your cares once in a while and be free of their weight.  Travel light.

Rev. Thomo.


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