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54. Why Dudeism is My Only Religion

Updated: Apr 13

Time to not spread myself too thin

Just published my previous post where I said I was going to watch a few scenes from The Big Lebowski movie, and as I clicked the big blue Publish button, I thought...

Dudeism is my only religion because I don't think of it as a religion or spirituality. It transcends these somehow and is more of a Way of being.

I'm eating my slice of Nutella on toast. Not something I normally do to be honest but today I needed a fix.

And the headache I've had on and off for weeks has gone. Bless the sugar load, man.

You know what for the last 15 years I've tried so many different religions, practices, spiritualities and so on that I've had my fill of it.

In 2009, I experienced what normal spiritual folks would call an Awakening. You know, the sort of thing Buddha experienced under the tree. The realisation that there is no individual self. What I thought of as me, the Rev. Thomo was as fictional as Father Xmas.

I saw the endless presence of peace and stillness within me also in the sky. I just glanced up and happened to notice it. It had been there all along but I had never seen it. And I recognised it as being the same "thing" that was within me, and my mind got blown to bits from the realisation that everything actually really most definitely is One, and as something clicked, like that sudden click when you get a joke after hearing the punchline, I saw a cosmic joke, and as this click happened, it was like the normal face of everything was being peeled back revealing exactly the same but with a bright golden light to it.

Everywhere was shining PRESENCE. Everywhere I looked. All was One Nameless Being and I am it, you are it, everything that isn't "us" is it.

And all this bloody effort in life was a waste. Nothing needed to be done. It was IT-ing itself as me, as you, as everything. And doing just fine thank you very much.

The god damned plane had crashed into the mountain. The "self" was gone. It was never there.

Right okay, but what the hell has this got to do with Dudeism?


I was in a Buddhist group and people were coming up with questions about serious shit, about life and death, about the deepest suffering, and I'm sitting there listening to answers from teachers knowing that I was hearing a pile of crap. That they didn't understand what Buddha was saying. All the made-up crap about the Four Noble Truths, and everything is impermanent.

No, no, no.

The Four Noble Truths are telling us that there is no root to suffering. If we look at what suffers we won't find it. This is Right View, the first of the Noble 8 path thingymejig.

Suffering is present but it doesn't belong to anything. It's like that black cloud I mentioned in the previous post, only this time, suffering is the black cloud but you are the infinite sky. The sky does not own the cloud. The cloud is just there.

The plane crash caused new suffering, or I thought it did.

I realised that no matter how gently I tried to offer an answer to a Buddhist question it created suffering among many of those that heard it.

Ramana Maharshi said that people, fight to protect their puddles while you are offering them the great ocean.

Well, I spoke to teachers, and I hoped to set up a little stand at one of their events, or a tent, just for those people who wanted a different understanding. a deeper Zen - but no, they felt threatened by it I guess, and wouldn't hear of it. The group had a couple of girls that wanted to take it in a different direction so I handed it to them and left.

I spent a year watching nature.

I got involved with a Taoist group, met some Druid friends and became a Druid, ordained as a Dudeist Priest, tried Zen... you get the picture.

What the fuck for? I hear you ask. If you experienced Awakening why do you need religion? Bear with, dudes...

My "ego" self, my patterns, conditioning, whatever you call it, wanted a platform to help others. I'm doing it now, aren't I? Even though I knew there were no others, it seemed that the more I lived these new insights from the mindfuck plane crash, the more sick mankind appeared in following its self-belief. Wars, arguing, defending its reasons, needing this, not wanting that. Sick sick sick. A sickness we don't see until we SEE.

From the self comes the belief of an individual, something that seeks meaning, or doesn't. Something with hopes and dreams. A person who knows what their identity is, they are successful, a failure, a housewife, a banker. A crazy shit-arsed dream that the One Totality is having through us.

We were "supposed" to be chilling out under trees, eating the fruits and nuts of life. Living like cats and curling up asleep whenever we wanted, strolling here and there without reason, and making no effort to do stuff. There was no stuff to do. But we gave ourselves debt and ownership, and mowed lawns, and washing detergent, and Sundays cleaning cars, and weekends praying for the Lottery numbers. WTF?!!!!!!!!

My mind was identified with a need to help others. I saw that this goes back to when I was four or five and giving my toys to other kids because it made them happy. Sap.

Although my mind had been broken apart, I still had forty+ years of conditioning to unravel around me.

I lost interest in snowboarding, sportscars, football, everything. I didn't give a fuck any longer. Then I realised that this was also the mind attaching meaning to this experience where there is none. The mind found aimlessness and meaninglessness, are those words? But that's not how a deer lives. Its mind isn't attaching all sorts of heavy shit to situations, even when it could turn the next corner and come face-to-face with a hungry pack of wolves.

And my mind felt it needed a religion. Some kind of dipshit platform to talk Truth to the world and "help" others like Lao Tzu did with the Tao Te Ching, Eckhart Tolle did with The Power of Now, and Catherine Hettinger did with fidget spinners.

So, why is Dudeism my only religion?

Because when you take away all the shit. All the enlightenment, all the suffering, all the mind grasping, admiration for Nature, and so on, there's nothing to do, just take it easy, have a limber mind, and abide.

And I'm not an Eckhart Tolle or a Ramana Maharshi. I swear like a trouper. I know that my true self is endlessly untroubled as is yours, but I can't fool myself. And I can't spread myself too thin. I can't be in multiple religions. And I can't abide by them because I know they mostly talk shit. I cannot pretend to be some boho-clad guru because that is supposed to be how an enlightened person is. Everyone is enlightened but they don't know it. So, how you already are is how it already is. I can't sit on stage wearing a tank top like Tolle talking nonduality, or walk around in a glorified diaper stroking a cow while offering silence, like Maharshi.

We are supposed to be having some FUN. Not meant to, but the kind of fun birds, cats, and dogs running around after sticks have. We've gypped ourselves into a life of intensity. And Dudeism is bang on. It's a pause in life's video and check out what condition your condition is in.

Spirituality can nail us to a metaphorical cross. I mean, really what the fuck were we doing to poor Jesus there? A sandal-wearing longhaired, bearded, 69-cent check-writing, awakened Dude who was just trying to spread peace, and then some greedhead twats felt threatened by it and nailed the fucker to some wood.

Come on, mankind! And is it any different now? You write something about nonduality on Quora or a blog post and half the world is like a Roman Centurion nailing you to a cross for even daring to suggest there is anything other than science and a Christian bearded God who sits on a throne in heaven. I mean come on. Just look at the beauty of what IS.

Spirituality and religion affect how we see the world and us in it. They often cause us to look beyond our place to some heaven or other-worldly God, or mysterious Tao. They expect us to go to church, the temple, or live high up in a cave somewhere in the clouds. How often do they tell us that where we are is right where it is? Some of us won't want to hear that I guess, especially if you are surrounded by a bunch of squareheads trying to make your life dull.

So, yes, there's my mind recognising all this shit, and if you haven't got bored by now and started watching YouTube, it's your mind also recognising its shit.

Tell the ego to fuck off. You can't insult something that isn't there.

Bollocks to it all.

Take it easy, limber mind, abide. Right here, right now.

I'm off to do nothing for a bit.

That's it. Rant over.

Rev. Thomo


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