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Writer's pictureRev. Thomo

Dudeism Blog 76. Am I a Grade-A Dope?

Updated: Sep 17

Dudeism 76.  Am I a Grade-A Dope?

...out of my depth, dudes. Mind fuck alert.


I wrote a blog a few weeks ago about manifesting abundance, you can check it out here. Not that I go with that kind of shit usually but it just seemed like some goodness was heading my way for once.


I had a software company approach me asking to put my courses on their website where they get stacks of enquiries. And they seemed like a great bunch of dudes.


But I can't seem to get into it.


My mind has just gone AWOL. Like it can't take anymore. It has maxed out on doing.


As I write this, it's 23:38 and I'm surrounded by pots and pans to clean up and put away. I've said this before, everywhere I look there's shit to do. It doesn't matter where I am.


So, yes, I've said fuck it. Things will get done one way or another, or they won't. I'm not sweating over it. I can't do everything. But today, looking after my two kids, sorting all the school paperwork, homework, cooking meals, and caring for my little girl after she pranged her knee tripping over my son's Mario scooter. And man, I thought I was going to blackout.


I had to lie down. Out of my depth, dudes.


So, I've dropped some stuff I was working on that I thought was important but isn't, so that I might have more energy. I'm going to burn out otherwise. Then I'm no good to anyone.



You've Gotta Know Your Limits, Dude


And I've passed mine,


Ten weeks of school holidays, busy clients, being given the run around by the kids' mothers who are also busy but generally disorganised, and I'm trying to plan my day around when I have access.


You get the picture.


But only the mind thinks something is fucked here.


Dudes, even when being a dude it's easy to poke a toe over the line and end up at destination fucked.



Just Let Go of Outcomes, Man.


So what if something doesn't get finished? So what if I'm late editing a bunch of videos so that a software company can offer them to its clients? Yes, the money would be good but if I don't care whether the chimney collapses, or a wall needs repairing, or if I can't save for my kids' futures - none of it matters.


It matters to the mind. And the mind likes thinking about this kinda shit, and planning for the future, and blah blah - all the non-Dude stuff. And it's easy to get swallowed up and become a grade-A dope. It's easy to feel resistance to what is right now. And I'm in the moment, but there's been a lot of intense moments over the past ten years!


And too often, since I've been in Austria, I've found myself saying stuff like, just get through the winter and it'll be alright, or, when the kids go back to school, or when this project is completed, and when that money comes in - ah fuck off!


Not any longer.


I'll be alright right now, thanks very much life. You can throw any amount of shit or Shinola my way and I'll sit here not giving a fuck. So, life, if you want someone to jump when you say jump you'd better find someone else.


And I know you good folks who have been reading through some of these posts of late will know that this stuff comes up quite a lot. Am I really doing what I'm writing?


Yep.


Fuck it.


These have been my challenges, man. Being pulled all over the place by life, by the needs or chaos of others, by not having the time to chill whenever I want - welcome to the real world. But seriously. I'm just physically tired of it all.


And the mind fuck alert was that I'm putting small shit in the way of getting these courses done. Washing pots, cleaning floors, and cutting back blackberry bushes, while working and caring for kids isn't helping me take it easy. Add on top of that, stuff I have to get sorted for the government here because my accountants challenged them for not giving me some tax benefits I am due - I received a letter on 18th August, saying that I need to complete by 26th June or may face a fine - WTF? I haven't done anything.


They can all stick their heads down this pisser and flush it.


That doesn't sound very mellow but I mean it tongue-in-cheek.


A man can't bowl until it's his time to roll, and I'm trying to throw rocks across several lanes at once. No thanks.


So, tomorrow, I will begin editing the first of my courses and get that finished this week. I'm dropping other shit that gets in the way, other than my kids. Then sort the government crap. My future dude-self will appreciate it. And if anyone gets bent out of shape because I'm not dancing to their tune fast enough, so what? I'm going to line up a few beers and take my time working through what I can.


And if stuff doesn't get done, it wasn't ever going to get done, and I'm at peace with that.


It's easy to get swallowed up in the needs of the moment. Sometimes, we've got to think what will my future dude thank me for? Is it what I'm doing right now?


Thanks for being here, dudes. Let me know in the comments what is crossing paths with your mellowness.


Peace.


Rev. Thomo



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